how can u be prego again
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize