3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
