It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
She's the barista slut.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
