I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
pray to the hookup gods
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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