wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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