I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
