big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
