My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Too much gin, very little bucket
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
