I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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