I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
