Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize