I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
