My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize