When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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