Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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