I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
