What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
