So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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