It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
