I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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