You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
