i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
