So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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