I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
