She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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