You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You made out with two different species that night
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
