She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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