pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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