Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
porn star boner night. come get it.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Someone came in the potted fern
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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