you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
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Blood and glitter go together right?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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