You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
