So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
