Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
