Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
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