he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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