Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
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