Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
