I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
