drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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