I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
