dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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