I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
