Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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