Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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