My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
