here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
