i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
