Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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