my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
