Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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