Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
