My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
