Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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