I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
My feet surprised me
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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