I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
