i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
