id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
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eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
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So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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