Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
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