Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
