drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
