no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Randomize
