Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize