I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
